How to upgrade your mindset

Feeling unmotivated, over it and down right down? Want to stress less, think more positively and regain your spark for life? You have come to the right article…

During coaching sessions all kinds of day to day conversation come up mostly about the trials and tribulations people face ranging from heavy stressful work schedules, challenging and unrealistic customers (theirs not mine!),employment concerns, family health issues and troublesome teenagers. Life certainly presents challenges that can drain our energy, enthusiasm and cause us to stress. Recently, a client asked me:

 ‘What do I do to stay positive and motivated?’

That conversation inspired me to write this article, feeling what we spoke about, could be of benefit to others – to you. In this article, I share 10 practical strategies I personally employ – and to teach to others – to stay motivated, overcome obstacles and maintain a healthy mindset  – to enjoy life.

Positivity or happiness?

First, let’s get one thing straight, this is not a fluffy article on how to be happier. To me, a positive mindset means the ability to stay motivated and productive in the face of challenges, to not let life pull you down to dark places, were you feel despondent. I am talking about being resilient to the challenges of life, of being able to manage stress and not get overwhelmed and yes, to feel essentially happier, motivated and fulfilled.

That’s what this article is about: upgrading your mindset: to get through tough times, to brighten your spark for life, to reduce stress and enhancing ones outlook on life.

Simply stated –  ways to feel better – if that sounds helpful, read on…

The lifesaving effects of stress

A quick word about what stress is and what it does to you…

Stress is known as a bit of a killer but you’d be wrong. It is actually a very clever cascade of biological events designed to save your life in threatening situations.

Simply stated, stress causes certain physiological processes to be heightened, others to be dampened and resources to be mobilised to deal with a difficult situations.

Here’s what happens when you encounter a stressful event and also the associated health risks associated with this continues to happens too much:

• Sugars and fatty acids are released from storage to provide you with an abundance of energy – diabetes.
• Heart rate, blood pressure and breathing rate increase to effectively transport energy and nutrients – heart disease.
• Growth, reproduction and digestion are inhibited because in a life threatening situation these are a non-essential functions – low sex drive and fertility issues.
• Shifts occur in cognitive function to heighten skills and memory – so you can try to figure your way out of a life threatening situation and remember it for next time – psychological health issues.

Enough of the doom and gloom, let’s start to get more positive…

The Basics

First, the basics. You have heard it before but it is the backbone of psychological health:

Exercise, eat well and sufficient sleep…

Exercise

You know this…

You always feel better for a workout.

It’s the maximum of my business and my way of life.

There is no drug on the market that performs as well as physical activity and exercise to improve psychological health, reduce stress and feelings of anxiety and depression (this is not to say you should stop taking any medication you have been prescribed). Countless studies back up the psychological health improving effects of exercise.

One of the largest studies involved one million Americans that concluded regular exercisers report up to 25% lower mental health problems.

Exercise can also reduce your risk of Alzheimer’s. In a study involving 160,000 participants published in Psychological medicine in 2009, it was concluded moderate physical activity reduced risk by 45%

So how does exercise make you feel better?

It causes the release of mood enhancing chemicals such as dopamine, serotonin, endorphins and endocannabinoids. They  contribute to stimulating reward centres in the brain, reduced pain, increased positive mood and memory enhancement.

Topp Tip: Exercise is my number one strategy to dissipate stress and enhance headspace.

Eat well

Eating a healthier diet is not just about your waistline, it is equally significant for your way of thinking. A unique study conducted in Australia in 2017 called the SMILES study in was the first of its kind to look at the relationship between food and mental health. The study concluded that eating a healthier diet reduced major depression by 30%.

Eating right improves headspace.

Unfortunately we humans can easily succumb to our instinctual hard wired urges and grab a muffin or eat unhealthy take out when we are stressed, only compounding a less productive mental state when we wake from the calorie stupor to regret our actions, a vicious cycle. How do you break it? Action more of the mind enhancing strategies in this article.

Managing stress is a huge part of weight loss success.

Topp Tip: What you eat has a significant impact on your mood and motivation, not just your waistline.

Sleep well

This is huge. Think about the difference to your day between a good night’s sleep and a bad one. You will feel more motivated, productive and inspired – and eat better – for a decent night of sleep.

Science has proven unequivocally that we really do need 7-8 hours of sleep. Less than 6 hours is detrimental to health and performance – and causes poor mental health, dementia, cancer, heart disease, lower immunity and low sex drive.

However, people are struggling to sleep well.  Research conducted by the University of Adelaide Institute for Sleep Health concluded that up to 45% of Australian adults struggle with sufficient – either quantity or quality of sleep.

The simplest way to sleep better is to develop a sleep routine:

• Get to bed at a regular time at around 10pm (granted some people are larks and stay up later and rise later).
• Do not work or be on digital devices right up until turning the light out.
• You need to wind down for about an hour before bed.
• Skip the booze. You may think it helps but it actually disrupts your quality of sleep.
• Sleep in a cool, dark room – the ideal temperature is about 18 degrees. Your body needs to be cool to drift into sleep.

If you wake up at night, don’t check emails, do some deep, slow breathing to relax and you will fall back to sleep much more easily.

Topp tip: Sleep your way to success, prioritise a sleep routine and actions ways to sleep well.

Now let’s move on to some other strategies….

Seinfeld saves the day

One of the key rituals in my working week is when I have lunch, I watch one episode of Seinfeld. It is great break from the rigours of the day and adds levity to lighten the day.

Laughter to less stress is no joke. It’s serious!

(Get the joke? Ok I will leave the humour to Seinfeld)

Topp tip: Laughter liberates you from a state of stress.

Do something FUN

When was the last time you did something fun, I mean really fun that lifted your spirits and made you feel good (that didn’t involve alcohol!)? We get so caught up in the responsibilities of life, we often forgot to have fun.

Having fun is not a waste of time, in fact I would argue it is completely the opposite.  It makes you feel energised and alive!

This brings me to the cover story image, that is me diving into an ocean full of sharks at Lorde Howe Island, a very exhilarating moment that was both challenging, fun and inspiring.

Having fun can extend to doing things differently. Drive the same way to work? Eat the same thing for lunch? Always walk the park the same way? From time to time rattle your routine and do things differently – a bit like George Coztansa in Seinfeld when he chooses to do the opposite of what he normally does and things work out really well!

Topp Tip: Take time to have some fun, live on the edge and do things differently from time to time.

Connect

 Humans are social animals and we need connection to thrive.

We survived throughout time eternal by forming communities. If you got kicked out of those early communities you didn’t have much chance on your own. We achieve more in teams. We feel better with friends. We enjoy love and connection with our partner and family. Connecting with special people in our life is critical to our psychological health and wellbeing.

The trouble is we get so caught up with work and routine we can forget about those important people in our lives. Working late at the office with your partner waiting at home, the kids missing their parent, the business owner immersed in his laptop when he should be eating dinner with his partner, not seen your good friend because you have been ‘too busy’ – we all do it.

I make it part of my routine to reach out to the important people in my life regularly arrange coffee catch ups or lunches (sorry I haven’t got to you, just yet!)

When are struggling or need uplifting, there is nothing better than to reach out to someone and share with a friend – never suffer in silence.

Topp Tip: Connection is the essence of being human, prioritise people and relationships.

Be the watcher of your mind

One of the most important ways to safe guard a healthy, positive mindset is to be the watcher of your thoughts. Start to notice the quality and frequency of your thoughts:

• Are negative thoughts and emotions popping up more frequently?
• Are you becoming more self-critical of or feeling out of control about your situation?
• Are you resorting to unhealthy ways to cope such as overeating (or loss of appetite), drinking more alcohol, using drugs or isolating yourself?

Be the observer of your thoughts and behaviours:

Are they positive and practical or are they becoming more self-diminishing?

When you notice they are spiralling downwards – STOP – consciously shut it down and  choose a better thought or behaviour. Put a better spin on your situation, look at it from the positive and hit the reset by doing something positive immediately to raise your mood.

Topp Tip: Be the gardener of your mind. Don’t let weeds take root, pull them out regularly and water the flowers.

The secret to less stress

Want to know the secret to less stress?

Work less.

At first this may seem like a whimsical notion, there is actually a lot of truth in it.

Personally, I worked too much last year. Six days a week with virtually no time off (other than my end of year break) and I finished the year mentally exhausted. My take away for the year was to take more breaks and not work as much.

I think society as a whole needs to work less and prioritise more life enhancing activities such as:

• Personal pursuits we love but put off.
• Time with friends and family.
• Learning and growth.
• Breaking the routine and do something different.
• Have fun!

The biggest regret of the dying is the not prioritising the things that truly mattered and working too much!

Topp tip: Stress less, work less!

Finally, ‘Be thankful’

The human condition has a negative default bias. We tend to whinge, complain and worry.

It is based on a survival instinct to help keep us alive by being cautious about things we are unsure about. Now it serves against us by eroding our mental outlook and wellbeing.

Consciously choosing to spend time daily focussing on what is going well has been proven to enhance positivity and psychological health.

This is one of my most religious habits. I start my day with gratitude and spend a few moments thinking about what went well today as I drift off to sleep (rather than scrolling on Instagram).

It sets you up with a more positive day rather than worrying about what you need to get done and it’s a nice reflection on what went well rather than ruminating on what didn’t.

I also love Friday to ‘Celebrate your wins’ – spend a few moments to think about what went well this week? Start celebrating on the weekend!

Topp Tip: Gratitude is like fertiliser for the soul, it nurtures a positive mindset.

Who is your Master Yoda?

Luke Skywalker had Yoda to turn to for guidance in Star Wars. Who do you have, that you can turn to in tough times for counsel, support and guidance? I have a master Yoda, her name is Silvana and she has been a supportive guiding light in my life (thank you Silvana). We all need mentors and master Jedi’s in our lives.

Who is yours?

Topp tip: Everyone needs mentors and master Jedi’s in their life for counsel, support and to challenge your way of thinking.

Your complete 10 step mindset upgrade action plan 

Here is a summary of all the life enhancing things you can do to upgrade your mindset to be more resilient and be more positive:

• Exercise – you always feel better after a workout!

• Eat well, it’s not just about weight loss it enhances mind health.

• Sleep well by developing a sleep routine and getting to bed on time.

• Have a laugh more regularly. (Laughter is no joke when it comes to stress)

• Prioritise FUN and do things differently from time to time.

• Nurture human connection and reach out to friends and family more often.

• Be the watcher of your mind. Stamp on negative thoughts before the snowball out of control.

• Work less and prioritise life enhancing activities such as pursuits you love, personal growth and simply take more breaks.

• ‘Be thankful’ stop focusing on what you don’t have and truly appreciate what you do to nurture a more positive mindset.

• Have a master Yoda in your life, someone you trust for counsel, guidance and support.

I hope this helps enhance how you think and feel to live life more vibrantly.

Nothing changes without action.

Thank you for reading.